Introduction

My Thoughts.....

How Will My Children Be?

I lie awake and wonder, what is it to know that a child is a part of you?  
When they come home from the hospital fresh and clean?
Or later from the Prom ,drunk and rude?
How do you know that you have done a good job?
It's strange that I still feel like one of them, yet I'm old enough to have my own.
Little feet later can step on or follow after yours.
You cannot always tell a good parent from a good child.
Some were born for trouble, others never saw beyond an A.
The World is full of unprepared feeling people who wonder......
"How will my Children Be?"

This Book I Dedicate to those Children.




My Testimony of Christ

  My Testimony  of my Savior is one I have spent nights pleading with Heavenly Father to answer while I endured the demons of life.  It wasn't just a terrible discomfort really ,but  a disgust at how pathetic I had become.  I knew that I could be great.  I knew Christ loved me, but it seemed no one believed me.  Other people seemed  to have the same problem. No one cared.  For example-If my plate were empty people looked the other way,unless I was actually looking better ,than they would take me to the Hospital, especially If I started to fight them.  I was the crazy one , but no one was allowed to say the word, "crazy".

  I had a Doctor when I was in an Eating Disorder Clinic in California that Changed everything that I was about.  He actually, very comfortably called me ,"Crazy".  I was so offended!  I didn't want to see him again!  He taught me though that when I have seen things from outside myself ,from a different perspective, I  have been seeing things spiritually.  That is when my Savior taught me how to forgive those who have contributed to my pain and to view things from their point of view emotionally.  I opened my heart to the Savior.  I made promises with God that I would go though pain to show my love for him.  I had to forget myself and everything I believed I was and just remember what the Spirit taught me in my youth and what I found true in blessings that were given to me.  This challenged my faith and took most of my energy and effort it seemed.  The Savior healed me though.  I am learning to take other things on and I believe that I have worked out my issues with my childhood.  Through facing my Biggest fears with My Savior  I have gained the trust of my Heavenly Father and my Savior.  The World might say that I gave up everything,  for those who knew me before.  That is not so!  I am not defeated!  The Lord has excepted Me and I still have my birthright.